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| I am now in Minneapolis Minnesota. An exciting trip that lasted 6 hours full of music, and great times with Heidi! Well im off to the mall of america, where i am told there is a huge arcade.. eh eh thats my kinda mall, where they cater to the needs of all nerds! so maybe ill check and update, but im going to visit my mom in a couple days so i will not necessarily be around have a great week! | | |
| There seems to be a reason for every time and place. Reason seems to loose its essence when confronted with faith, therefore how can I ever rational my faith? Everyones season comes right... so i thought when is my season... Ever think about why our seasons never seem to come till after we stop realizing that we need them. Alot of things have happened recently. And I have to be honest, all of the events taht have recently taken shape in my life seem to be directly related to the fact that reason cannot exsist within the realm of my faith. In my faith i cannot reason why I have it, or where it comes from... or can I? Why reason what cannot be seen? Why does the sun rise in the east and set in the west....What if one day it decided to go the other way... How drastic would that change what I believe..... Would my exsistance and purpose in life be so shattered by this strange turn of events that I would no longer have a will to live? There are some ideas that really can rack your mind.... For instance, staying with the sunset... If i really stand everymorning and stare into the distance to discover where the sun will rise, im going to miss the whole purpose, ill miss the sunrise, the sunset, not because im there to enjoy it, rather i am there and i try to reason "Why".... or do i miss it.. What if my brick in the wall where to fall ..... would i really be left as humpty dumpty asleep under the ashes of all my bricks, or would stand because the foundation on which my wall is built is more than an upside down pyramid. ..... hmm and u may ask yourself, Jason where is this going....Friends, what if, the question "why" was not to understand, but to make us believe more....... what if the concept of questioning everything, from faith to the true task of chicken... does it have an individual taste or does it really just taste like everything else....What if the sky was green, and we were missing the true pigment in our eyes...what if God took his time creating the earth.... What if God takes his time with all things... What if there was no time.....Why do we spend all our time trying to make more time.....See there are certain truths.... Unmistakable truths... And truths that are essential to who we are.... and Who we serve... but what about those things that hinder our minds... Jason I can see the wind blowing but what is the wind? What does it taste like... Why does it say no, when i need a yes.... Jason why does the wind move only in those trees over there... God why wont u move in my life.... God... where are u in those times of needs... God why me? God.... Your move... What if u did create the world in 100 million years... God why does it take so long to give me my hearts desire... "My son my throne is outside the bounds of time, that is a restriction that your mind has placed on my movements... I am the same now as I was then... And I will always be... I will always give u what you need when u need it...
Look Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
See when I question why... He answers with a reason of Faith... See faith exsist not to answer why but to live withot the answer, reason moves to prove an answer, but when the reasoning is faith.... Faith can be reasoned, and when the reasoning is faith.... Reason can be faith...
Chew, question, and critique, ask yourself why do i have faith, ask yourself what is the reasoning of your faith... and than when u have been broken to a shattered wall look upwards and realize that it is not an answer in time, or an answer in human tounge that can reason Gods why, because his Why is faith.. | | |
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A CITY ON A HILL DOES NOT HIDE ITS LIGHT
What is a man of God..... Recently I have found myself being drawn back to the purpose of my life. A man of God is a lighthouse, a city on a hill that never hides its light. Funny Im finding myself reminded of this more and more often. Why dont i accept it, Why dont i embrace it.
Its a difficult story... Fear, Satan has used fear in my life of never being able to be what God needs. My "self" has been allowed to control more and more of my life to the point that I am no longer the man that God has called me to be. Maybe thats why God has yet to show me where he wants me to serve. I came to the relization last night that I have to roads i can travel down. The first is easy and all of my being is pushing me towards it. Essentially give in, just live a life pursuing the treasures of this earth, enjoy the beauty of pleasure, and of things that are not fulfilling. Or the road that looks dangerous. Ive been at this crossroad before, actually 3 times already this year and i start the dangerous road, but only go down far enough that i can cut acrossed the grass back to the easy way. Well decision time... I have to take the hard road. Wherever it leads I know that there is more greatness there, but to kill my "self" is porbably the hardest thing for men to do. God I choose the road that you traveled down. I choose the road without the guardrails and the stairs. I choose the road that will essential kill my "self".
Why is it so hard to be a Man of God. Or maybe why is it so hard to kill and leave behind a man's "self" I think that the true answer to this question can be found in something that i was told by a great friend, and realized through my experience with her. A man of God is a man that Fears God, and is respected at the Gates. Proverbs 31 has a great saying in it "Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. " I read this and think to myself also with the saying of Jesus a city on a hill does not hide its light. A man of God accepts his role, and stands tall and strong in the ways that are counter to this world. Young men are no longer being taught this, and are becoming rather than respected at the city gate, beggars and jesters at the city gate. I no longer desire to be that, God be my light. How do we accept this role, easy to say hard to do. Just like all things it takes dedication, not to a friend, or to family, but to God himself. I think of it like this, in Lord of the Rings they used huge fires to signal to Rhohan for help. I think thats what the young men of today need to see, that help is here and is all over, the lights need to no longer be hidden, but lit. Not in waiting for God to bring forth the problem to them, but rather for us to take God to them.
Being a man of God I am is discovering that surrender is not a once in a life time thing. It is a daily conversation with my God, a conversation the goes beyond a prayer, and becomes a love song. Being a man of God is sacraficing my"self" to gain his"being" and allow his being to shine greater than any light so that those who are caught out in the stormy seas of life, might find a way back to the safety of his arms. | | |
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 photo by: Ben
Lets try this again. So today i was reading to myself about the ministry of Jesus. How did it start, and what did Jesus do to attract so many people, after reading the passages in all four gospels i found that Jesus prepared himself and than left and made his ministry avaliable to God. He surrendered all of it, and just went, it says he traveled from town to town synagouge to synagouge, and becuase of the miracles in there time people just started coming to him for his miracles and for his seromons. Miracles.... theres a thought, he healed the sick, he met the poor, talked to the whores, taked to me.... So what is the true miracle today... Jason go be a miracle in Love, to those who need it... to those who dont have it. I believe that Love is a miracle, and that when someone serves in Love today its so out of place that people are drawn to it, in the same way that Christ had people come to him because he was healing leappers and speaking truth. What if we... I mean if you want to call yourself we... Somepeople i know dont like that, but truely what if we were to live lives of miracles. To be love to everyone... To be the Gospel.... Something to chew on here.
Saturday i went to the city, chicago that is.... Im a pretty observant person, and i noticed something, i learned something. On a corner i saw this man passing out these flyers about God, and when i looked inside, it was a check list........ Is that what being a child of God is... a list of chores.... O man lol dont think so... What i found the funniest is that just probably two doors down there was a homeless man in need of money for food, his sign said food, or money.... Somethings not right here. But i told you that to tell you this..... When i went to youth specialties this november i had the oppurtunity to hear alot of speakers, talk about the youth of today and how to be successful and how to help your youth, but i didnt hear how to take your youth into the world so they can experience what God is what being God's hands and feet, Gods church.... Well the saturday night after our sesion we decided to walk around, and go back to the hotel a different way. Nashaville, if you have never been there is beautiful at night, and so alive.... So yeah we go passed the first huge hotel connected to the convention center, and i mean this hotel is big and expensive, and where the majority of the people are staying, and just on the other side, is this huge vent, and on this vent are the most interesting, people you will ever meet. They were homeless... and hurt and so poor that one guy had a broken hand and couldnt afford to go to the doctor. In my conversation with them i noticed something, they knew who God was, they didnt want someone to preach, they needed someone to listen, someone to keep them company, someone to love them..... heres a thougth, what are protecting.....
Im finding myself challenged, we protect to much in the church, the building, the sunday school, we bicker over what music we will sing, we cringe when the idea of a homosexual couple enters our doors, and everyone is afraid to approach them, we see the homeless and send money to the shelter, but in all honesty Jesus didnt send money to bring the people in, he did miracles, and Love today is miracles. It seems to me that we can give give give till our pocketbooks are empty, but the true nature of being a church being Gods hands being a community is not, give give give, its love love love. I think we have gotten to the point were we like to send aid rather than be aid.... We sometimes catch ourselves saying lets protect our youth from the problem of premarital sex, or drugs, but its too late, its in their lives, its on their tvs, its in their schools, sometimes its in their homes.... I guess what im getting at is maybe the church rather than saying to our kids, stay away, we take them to work at the pregnancy crisis center, or we take them to serve at the food bank, and rather than having them look inside to protect their purity, we have the love outwardly so the can have a sense of ownership to their life, ownership to the need for abstince. God went away to pray by himself, several times, but in scriptures i cant seem to find it were Jesus preaches at his disciples to look inward... I believe the scripture says Love your neighbors, Love your enemies, take care of the widowed, blessed are the meek at heart.
I think the key for the church is to be less protective of who comes in, and less concerned with what their lives are like, because thats between them and God, i think rather than condeming and being afraid of someone becuase they are different. And rather than forming this opinion on what they are who they are and whats in their lives, we should just love them, and give the spirit the power to change. Not our money, our Love. Yeah God we need to go out and make disciples of all nations, not sit in our church protect ourselves, and let them come to us.... Yeah Go Love so that you can Live and Follow, Be the miracle of Love. | | |
| HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE
"Lost in Transition"
Have you ever had one of those days were everything seemed to be moving at the speed of light. And if only you could just catch up, but you'll never be able to. Have you ever had a semester, year, where everything happened at once. Where the world, the entire world was going by at the speed of sound, and you just stop. You stop and not because you cant continue, because thats were you are supposed to be. The world never seems to stop, classes blow by soo fast, im almost done in college, assignments get due, the huge chapter of football is about to end in my life, and people have left my life. Even though these things are flying by. I've stopped. And now I watch. I can see the world, in a different light. I feel like im where im supposed to be. And i see everyone flying by me and i look up, and see God. Im not focused on the hustle the speed, keeping up, im focused on God. I can feel the wind of everyone rushing by.
I feel like this semester has been a tough one! Alot has happened in 3 months. And ive never really fully understood or thought to look for God in all the areas of my life. Yes I said it. We think it, we know its right, to surrender all. But do we. For example... so much of my life i have searched for the woman God has in store for my life, and the woman to help me in my ministry. Mistake, another thing ive done, is rely on my own strength to get me through difficult times. Yeah, I said it, rely on God, well its easy to say, but in the instance where you have nothing left. Where your body is laying torn to pieces from trying to keep up with the speed of light. Yeah...
Im not saying ive had it worse than anyone.. by no means... what im saying is man God has revealed so much to me.. Im now dating an amazing woman. She makes me think... Spiritually, she stretches me in a way like no one before, but ive realized something about myself. God has put me in a full time internship working with youth, developing skills, relationships, and oppurtunities to share my faith. I know now what God has in store for my life, I dont know what it looks like but i know what is involved. I know that its approaching quickly, like a sunrise. I know that i have relationships in my life that need to be repaired. I know that Ive treated people wrong, and been treated wrong, but I need to focus on others rather than myself.
Life seems to me as a circle. And we like dogs, chase our tail around and around faster and faster day to day, from one thing to another, busying our lives. We move at the speed of light and only look to God as in front of us, or around curve 3, but if we stop. The circle stops, and we stand there and can see God in front, behind, besides, above, and below carring us. Ive realized that in the instance of stopping, and no longer running but focusing on God, the circle of our lives turns into a straight line that leads to a deep intimate relationship, that dosent get stuck running after the tails of our lives in circles. We see things in our circles, mistakes, things we have neglected, and we step through them, to get on our straight line. The straight line that leads to the most deep and rewarding relationship of all. Is it easy. I can say from experience. No, can it be done. Yes.
On a different note, I just want to apoligize to anyone that may have been wronged by me this semester or semesters in the past. I desire to make this right. I no longer want to live in a circle, I desire to walk hand in hand focusing with God towards him in a straight line, so I have relationships that need to be healed. A blog appoligy means nothing, I know. I miss everyone from back home. I miss hanging out at Chuck and Bee's I miss jamming with Justin, I miss having a good time with all of my roomates. I miss Singer! Mike how are you... I miss hockey, I miss everyone, and you all need to know that the chapter in Cassopolis, is also coming to an end.... I miss Deke, and Chuck, I miss rachel's obsession with orlando, Jenny's out of controlness, and juice. And those who are no longer with us. Like BJ and Lonnie, I miss watching ridiculous movies with Justin Chuck and the little sexy.
To update everyone, I have a girlfriend, her name is Heidi, she is wonderfully amazing, call me Mike. I want her to meet all of you. I am working at College church with the Sr High youth group as a full time intern, I also am finishing the chapter of my life devoted 12 years to football. It ends in 2 weeks. I started my first College football game on Sat. Was amazing! I cannot describe what that meant to me. My classes are really hard, and I cannot finish on my own... reference to earlier statements... Im looking forward to going back to Cass, but i also want everyone to know i have one semester left, and than im off, into Gods plan. Wherever that may take me. I miss you all. Besides me finnally getting back on the right track well, not much. I'll talk to you all soon..
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